Press release by Kipling's Who's Who for member Susan Titus Glascoff -legal and media accountability Nov.'08
Everyone agrees- stay clear of
the legal system if you can. Why? Everyone is aware
of
often outrageous costs, years of wasted time, a nearly impossible burden of
proof
with manipulation
by the more powerful party likely to determine the outcome.
Most
know it is too easy to sue in the
and that this adds cost to business, health-
<< MORE >>
Letters from 7 others, plus mine, re NYTimes blatantly distorting facts in Oct. 5, 2008 article re Taub court case
Sent: Sat 10/11/08 12:56 AM
To: letters@nytimes.com
Cc: Susan Glascoff (susantitusglascoff@hotmail.com)
NYT Letter-to -the Editor, re: “Chana and Simon Love Their House, but .. They Loathe Each Other, “ Ruth Padawer, 10/5/08
The attempt to miscast this sad and ugly story of a painful lengthy and unresolved series of divorce hearings, involving the lives of a family with several children, as a “Hearts and Flowers” comedy involving a house, is a terribly destructive thing to those involved, and an affront to Times readers. Furthermore, the inclusion of Susan Glascof without mentioning her relationship to Chana, her affiliation with the National Coalition for Family Justice, and to the court hearings and the legal proceedings is completely misleading and poor journalism to say the least. But such distortion by the New York times is not a surprise to me. Having grown up with the understanding that the Times was the newspaper of record, I subscribed to the paper for over ten years; however, I canceled my subscription when I realized that the editorial positions were spilling over to the front page. Signed: James R. Garey, Narragansett, RI 02882, Email: riget@verizon.net,
Re: Last Sunday's article "Chana and Simon Love Their House, But..."? From: Cheryl W Sent: Sat 10/11/08 11:36 AM To: Letters@NYTimes.com Cc: Sue Glascoff-Dietrich (susantitusglascoff@hotmail.com) I am concerned with the way your article portrayed Susan Titus Glascoff as a "self-described" public advocate whose main function appeared to be the spinning of unsubstantiated theories. I feel it was demeaning to Sue personally and gave a very inaccurate impression of her work as an advocate. I have know Sue for almost 30 years and am well acquainted with her advocacy work during those years. Sue is serious-minded and very hard working. She takes on advocacy projects that she believes in and researches them thoroughly. She is passionate about her work but has her conclusions backed up with facts. The fine quality of her advocacy work has been recognized nationally by advocacy organizations and "who's Who" lists. Sue and her work, which in this case concerns injustice in the court system, merit a NY Times article that takes a serious, in depth look at that issue. Cheryl W Guilford, CT 06437 << MORE >>
NYCity Mayor Bloomberg- Request to get 225 mayor coalition to discuss legal accountability, July, 2008
Commission on Presidential Debates, Nov. 16, 2007, Fahrenkopf, Kirk, Kennedy
Frank Fahrenkopf, Jr., Esq., Paul Kirk, Jr. susantitusglascoff@hotmail.com
Co-chairs- Commission on Presidential Debates 203-454-3193 (1783 f)
Carolyn Kennedy, Esq., Rory Kennedy
Bd. Member Comm. Pres. Debates, Co-founder/Pres. Moxie Firecracker Films
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen:
You each (or soon will get since your offices said they received & forwarded) received my packet today requesting that legal reform become part of the presidential candidate debates. I am writing again for two reasons. I did not have time to include commentary on current interrelated articles ( I wanted to write an entire page re several articles, but I’ve just enclosed two), plus in my hurry to see the report went out yesterday(already late), I realized one of the four copies got two of the packet re Presenters to the NY Matrimonial Commission (contained within the peach- colored Big Pic Report), and that one then did not get the enclosed packet which starts “Opening Remarks” re the NYMC and has several articles I deem very necessary to understanding how far those courts have fallen.
Top front page of NYT today,
“As Bank Profits Grew, Warning Signs Went Unheeded.” Hmmm…. As I mention in my report, 3-4 years ago
there were 11 million sites requesting legal reform. Warning signs are going unheeded in
spades! I also have a good doctor friend
who 25 years ago was complaining about malpractice premiums. We all know they haven’t gotten better and
that doctors increasingly practice defensive medicine, etc. But the bank profit problem relates to a
mindset that interrelates to every issue at hand. The profit motive that drives capitalism
needs more checks and balances just as the legal system does. Excessive CEO pay results in building
McMansions which drives up all housing
via the well-known trickle effect and similarly holds down all other wages. All sorts of required legal papers support
contracts. Some aspects indeed protect
the weaker party, but if they default, addiction to dominance reigns
supreme. Foreclosures happen far more to
the most vulnerable people, and frequently to single moms. This surely adversely affects their kids, and
the numbers are large because of our high divorce rate. In the
Front cover of “Business Week” November 26 issue which arrived today- “Coming soon! The Consumer Crunch - recession or not, American families will be forced to tighten their belts.” As usual, pictures say a thousand words. A Merrill Lynch economist is saying the pullback could cost $200-300 billion, 2-3% of personal income, & hit rich and poor alike. What, I wonder, is the financial impact of families robbed by unethical courts?? Lawyers of course will make money. 2 of you are lawyers; I was married to a lawyer for 23 years. Good lawyers & judges are needed & great, but checks & balances re unfair ones is urgent!
Impact on Taxpayers of Systematic Devastation of Families, but EspeciallyWomen and Children, in U.S. “Divorce” Courts Impedes Leadership
Honorable Ariel Belen, Aug 8. 07 letter, 10/27 update, Taub case
Honorable Ariel Belen
Kings County Chief Administrative Judge
360 Adams St, Brooklyn, NY 11201
(I, Susan Titus Glascoff, have no self interest, attended most hearings, studied
transcripts, etc., & am Cambridge Who’s Who’s professional of the year for
advocacy – attached credentials were sent with this letter Aug. 8, 2007)
Dear Judge Belen:
Manipulation of the law has been occurring since the inception of the divorce case of Chana Taub v Simon Taub, index 18748/05, Kings County. Data here will be of recent events, with some background for clarification. 8/05 Judge Sarah Krauss ordered wall be built in middle of home, but gave CT Order of Protection & said shouldn’t live together, said each control own utilities , & not interfere with other via surveillance, etc. Appeals Court upheld wall. Once built, all Krauss’ orders were violated, ignored by Judge Carolyn Demarest. Judge D. accepted 2005 joint tax return not signed by CT, would not let jury hear of some “wall” violations, or fact ST had 3 federal fraud convictions, or ST used then, before & during trial, &ongoing, dubious medical excuses, or testimony of expert DV witness, Dr. Evan Stark, re long interviews noting CT victim of DV. Case filed on grounds of Cruel & Inhuman Treatment!
All judges ignored multiple financial affidavits of CT. Also, no child support. Mortgage not covered by maintenance. Ignored- ST saying couldn’t pay more (NOW denying owning of several properties- illegal conveyances); $500,000 cash was in safe-hmm….. Judge D. refused CT atty’s request to overturn jury finding no grounds for divorce, even though 4 kids testified re abuse. ETC! July hearing-Judge D. ignored violation of her orders that ST get home out of foreclosure & allow CT collect rent from her own 2 properties. Note- a lengthy 3/7/07 mtg. with Judge Pfau & several letters with data yielded little. CT’s atty wants off case-no $.
1) 7/20/07- JHO Margaret Cammer- request by CT to maintain Order of Protection
-granted, rest status quo till 9/28 since ST’s atty said during 3 hr wait settlement was discussed & would get proposal to CT’s atty by 2 wks. CT’s atty agreed (since “hall deal” seemed to seriously suggest CT get home, her rental property, trade another).
-JHO -”Our last hearing, 7/13, I heard a very distressed daughter testify. This case has been more about property than children.” HOWEVER, since daughter testified father said to her he’d have mother get into fatal car accident, but she was confused about dates, JHO had ordered entire testimony stricken. (Note-side case since divorce filing where CT was framed re trying to supposedly kill cohort of ST
- nothing happened to ST or cohort even though it was proven CT in court AT time!)
2) Since above, MORE of past tactics - total lack of good faith, lying to Court, harassing & frightening CT, etc. Tending all has become her job! CT
- new order of protection at end of trial- ST bloodied her eye. Court ignored his surveillance system of CT, control of utilities including deliberate tampering
- lengthy toilet backup, little heat or AC, broken pipes causing flooding……Many excuses, constant stream of motions to delay (pre &post trial).
When ST’s atty told JHO trying to settle, NEWmotions were in process demanding ST could knock down wall, etc., another motion suing CT for $5M for demanding divorce by falsely accusing him of abuse, etc. New subpoena to CT. Bogus settlement proposal implying ST
has no properties; seeks CT’s! There’s no resemblance to why JHO Cammer allow ed delay!
10/27 update NOT in letter-Atty. R is off case. After denying him payment for 1yr, Judge Demarest just allowed him to put lien on CT, not ST . Judge D continues to allow Simon Taub to violate her orders & have multiple distracting side suits. She should allow emergency contempt re foreclosure of marital home & postpone rest so new atty. can prepare. Chana Taub needs an unbiased judge & has Constitutional right to due process? Isn't justice supposed to be end goal of law??
Professional of the Year in Advocacy (Currently Legal Accountability of all types, but Especially Family Courts)
Susan Titus Glascoff
Professional of the Year in Advocacy 2007 - Cambridge Who's Who
Independent Advocate in Key Public Interest Issues
Executive Director, National Advisory Board, National Coalition for Family Justice
“The only thing necessary for evil to flourish
is for good people to do nothing.”
“Children learn what they live”
Biographical Profile
Type Of Projects: The National Coalition for Family Justice Advisory Board is the 501C4 Lobbying Arm of NCFJ, A 501C3 Non-Profit Organization. Glascoff is also a freelance advocate in many other public interest issues and projects.
Marketing Area:
Local, state, and national via major media, politicians, and other leaders but most are refusing to properly inform public even if given well- documented data re urgent need for judicial accountability. NYTimes started some (not family court) of dialogue when this hit the web.
Major Services:
• Identifying and raising awareness of the problems families routinely experience in divorce and custody issues through our nation’s Family Court system
• Advocating for systemic changes in our legal system
• Working for legal and judicial reforms (NCFJ conducts meetings and workshops, strives for justice, and obtains referrals for families considering divorce)
• Creating and facilitating various other advocacy projects in the areas of public health and education
Expertise:
• Increasing public awareness of the interrelationships between key societal problems via educating the media and government leaders
• Working to create and enforce accountability standards in Family Courts (and indeed all courts)
• Promoting conflict management programs in K-12 schools to increase children’s receptivity to learning
• Facilitating other programs to assist dysfunctional families and Devise Preventive Measures for Them and Society (Be sure to read #1-10 near end to see mere sample of outrageous cases & grave reasons why reform REQUIRED
• Forty Years of Professional Advocacy Experience
Hobbies/ Sports: Tennis, Biking, Sailing, Reading, Playing Bridge, Gardening, Birding, Walking our family Dog, Spending Time with my Grown Sons, Stepsons, and their Families
Education:
• Masters Degree in Health Advocacy, Sarah Lawrence College
• Masters Degree in Mathematics, Manhattanville College
Expanded Profile: (for quick summary please scan bold type plus some italics)
Advocacy and an innate need to stand up for those who have scant voice have been my passions since childhood. Even at the tender age of ten, I (inadvertently) helped to get an incompetent teacher fired. Having spent 23 years as the spouse of a Wall Street attorney, I am all too familiar with the legal shenanigans employed by those in power to use our country’s court system for personal gain. I am also very concerned that good lawyers and judges soon become tainted when confronted with our severely convoluted legal system. My thrust is the U.S. URGENTLY NEEDS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN DEBATE for JUDICIAL ACCOUNTABILITY & LEGAL REFORM.
I have been privileged to receive many letters of commendation and other praise for my advocacy projects in the areas of public health and education. My research papers have been accepted for publication, graduate instruction, and incorporation into a hospital’s training program. Public advocacy on local and national (and some international) levels in consumer product safety, improving public education, teacher compensation, health issues, gender equality, and legal accountability has been my life’s work. I am a former school board member and math teacher and recipient of a Columbia graduate math fellowship. In 1986 the response from the president of the NEA (National Education Association) to my national education project, sent to over three pages of recipients, began- “Oh! If only your enthusiasm and insight could be bottled and shipped everywhere in the United States.” I will again be working on some healthcare issues soon, partly interrelating to legal topic here.
In 2003 I initiated founding the National Advisory Board to the National Coalition For Family Justice(501C3 since 1988) to expand NCFJ’s outreach efforts to educate the media, the public, and government agencies to view the big picture of interrelating dysfunctional issues. For instance, unfair courts impoverish entire families, though mostly mothers and children. Divorce and custody cases are “churned” to create as much conflict (i.e. litigation and legal fees) as possible. Delays, frivolous motions, and innumerable other unethical legal acts abound, all contributing to and compounding the emotional and mental harm done to children. Children learn what they live!
"Leave No Child Behind" can't happen without accountability being required of family courts because children must be receptive to learn. Dysfunctional families increase health costs. Children of divorce have higher school dropout rates, substance abuse, behavior problems, etc. Since judges have the say for all final serious disputes in our society, ALL of them MUST be held to the highest standards. Failure to do that undermines those who pour their hearts and souls into insuring justice. Since the divorce rate is so high, and since kids of divorce have among the highest divorce rates according to US census statistics, all INTERRELATED PROBELMS are increasingly compounding, meaning they WILL SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL BY DEFINITION OF COMPOUNDING!
If you get a biased or incompetent judge, where do you turn for justice, especially since judges routinely refuse to counter their peers? Appeals often are not the answer. Judicial discretion is wonderful with good judges, disastrous with bad ones. Generally, judges should not have final say on recusing themselves, closing or opening the courtroom, allowing cameras or not because they are humans with self interest. Indeed, anyone who works within the legal system must be required to keep higher standards than are now enforced. STATEWIDE CONTESTS WITH INCENTIVES FOR CONSTRUCTIVE, COMPASSIONATE SOLUTIONS CAN BE A GOOD START. An invitation for lawyers & judges to participate might say- “Do you want to be listed as part of the solution or part of the problem?” Those with credible outstanding complaints against them would have to resolve them first (Ditto those who want more pay as NY is currently requesting & is warranted for quality judges.) Emergency measures are needed for existing unfair court proceedings.
Starting April 2005, I mailed out an almost inch-thick highly-documented report entitled, “Report on Assessing the Big Picture Re Urgent Need for Broad Family Court Reform Nationally.” It has now been sent to about 100 -all major media, 20 senators, Yale Law School (I personally delivered it to an assistant dean at the law school), Dr. Phil (but note #3 below for how misguided I was to send it to him), Eliot Spitzer, the Jimmy Carter Foundation, etc. There is a one page summary, table of contents, and detailed outlines of each of its four sections to facilitate clarity and quick perusal. I called about 40 prominent authors who wrote about various aspects of related issues. I included a one page summary letter from 10 (one from Kent Keith, JD, Ph.D. mentioned below) of them along with their ideas for court reform. I prepared a summary of several of the rest. Seven presentations, one mine, to the NY Matrimonial Commission are included. However, Monica Getz’ (president & founder of the National Coalition for Family Justice) assessment when reviewing their report with Whitney North Seymour, Jr. whose father was one of founders of the ABA (Amer. Bar Assn.) was (I agree)- “They merely rearranged the deck chairs on the Titanic,”- ditto most legal reform efforts. How about fact that Monica Getz attended a lecture by major law firm a few years back where one comment from podium was, “Gentlemen, if you want to divorce, see us first so we can show you how to be asset free?” Indeed, books are written on that topic. A post-divorce “look-see” re lifestyle must be established. The IRS has a legitimate interest, too, along with all taxpayers.
My report has 50 miscellaneous articles from widely varying sources where a scan of titles & a few key highlighted sentences help interrelate issues & focus on the BIG PICTURE. Additionally, there are several articles & letters I researched & wrote. There is a review of a 19 author-1996- “Expose- The Failure of Family Courts to Protect Children from Abuse in Custody Disputes,” prepared by lawmakers, lawyers, judges, & mental health professionals. It includes official testimony of one girl who concluded once she was a teenager that she & other family sex victims would actually fare better by telling no one. One author noted “protective parents & supportive professionals suffer for believing law has any relationship to justice.” So I ask, “Is this the United States??”
Responses- although I did hear about some (Denis Kucinich, Walter Cronkite, and a few others) minor attempts at exposing the issues and did receive a few short letters (one from Barack Obama) agreeing the problem needed attention, all readers can easily agree there have been no significant efforts that have broadly tried to inform the public & entertain serious efforts at establishing judicial accountability. I also suspect the report didn’t get past “gatekeepers,” such as Senator Biden’s. Ignoring it would counter he is a charter member of the Founding Fathers, established on Fathers’ Day 2003. The opening states- “We know the realities of violence against women and children- as witnesses and victims, as friends and companions of those who have suffered. That’s why we, men in support of our families, communities and workplaces, have committed to turn our private concern into public action.” A similar organization is Men Stopping Violence which states- “Men’s violence against women, serving to keep a specific group (men) dominant over another (women), is one manifestation of a system of hierarchical oppression that also includes racism, classism, and heterosexism… While tools differ, the purpose – power and control – is the same.” Indeed, many sources have posed that taking away custody from a mother, who had no serious complaints about her mothering prior to divorce, is about power & control, not wanting to pay child support which includes not only paying for food, clothing, etc. but adequate housing for custodial mothers.
Gloria Steinem, at a fundraiser I attended (over 600 there) May 22, 2007 for the Domestic Violence Crisis Center of Fairfield, CT made several points. She reiterated that DV takes many forms (statistics show <50% is physical) but then emphasized that the primary trait involves DOMINANCE which BECOMES AN ADDICTION. She said new studies have found that trauma in the home is more serious and difficult to correct than that which happens to adults, even those who have been in prison camps. As one might expect, it is because children are still forming their self image. When they experience directly or witness abuse of any sort from those who are supposed to love them, that confuses them. They learn to think they deserve that treatment and it is the way to treat others. Ms. Steinem said, “We must uproot DV in its place of origin.” She noted men are being taught they must model the gentler more humanistic traits of females, but that females must also learn to model healthy assertive aspects of men. Some women are abusing that (I didn’t catch her exact wording). She mentioned that in the animal kingdom many females are fiercer than males, and so the implication is that human females also have the capability to be fierce, sometimes inappropriately. (STG -studies show kids get permanent brain damage from highly dysfunctional homes.)
Meanwhile, the insidious power of compounding interrelated problems is gaining momentum. AREN’T WE SMART ENOUGH TO DEVISE GENUINE COURT ACCOUNTABILITY? DON'T YOU CARE enough about YOUR KIDS to help start the needed dialogue? It doesn’t have to include a “witch hunt,” nor should it. But NYTimes recently reported that 51% of women aren’t married. Many wait to marry till 30s & then later to have kids. Could it be they want to be well established financially first? Could it be desensitizing some? Why are so many female judges showing scant understanding of stay-at-home moms (see some examples in numbered examples below)?
We “merely” need to recognize the self-centered and otherwise fallible tendencies inherent in humanity and create enforceable safeguards to keep them in check, while increasing promotion of our healthier traits.
Courts need lay review. School children and society in general need to learn FAR more about conflict management and the challenges of good partnering and parenting. Many programs already exist, but need expansion, etc!
Examples of court decisions defying reason in my opinion:
1) NYC- Dyandria Murray was sentenced to 3 years in jail by Judge Helen Sturm for contempt when she persisted in accusing detective ex-husband of abusing their daughter (which was confirmed by three doctors). Even so contempt normally maxes at 6 months.
2) Charlotte, NC- Liliane H. Miller, journalist & web designer, became a full-time homemaker & primary caregiver to both of her children since their birth. Six years after her former husband left the family, Judge Jane Harper switched full custody to him despite the fact that she ordered him to attend and complete an 18-week abuser treatment program. Liliane was later sentenced to jail for not paying her wealthy ex-husband child support (She was working parttime but judge said she wasn't trying hard enough to get fulltime employment). She did not regain custody of her younger son, although she did get her oldest son back after police charged his father with assaulting him. She only gets to see her younger son every 2nd weekend. When there are scheduling conflicts, her former husband alludes to bringing up child support issues again. He continues to have a "6-figure job." She was forced from her home by bankruptcy & foreclosure; 2 years later her home remains unsold, partly because she couldn’t afford maintenance, & now preventing her access to assets. She lost her job & was recently officially designated as suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder- a common result of many who continue to be harassed by courts or from results of court decisions), enabling funding & other support for paralegal training for her.
Even worse, Four National Battered Mothers’ Custody Conferences (Liliane has been Vice Chairwoman and is member of my advisory board) in Albany, NY, have reported THOUSANDS of cases, the worst being custody awarded TO the parent credibly accused of sexual abuse. But remember- battering does NOT include physical abuse in >50% of cases, but statistics show emotional (often includes financial) abuse can be equally or even more harmful.
Protective parents, usually mothers, are routinely accused of trying to alienate the other parent when they attempt to protect their children. Credible statistics indicate fabrication of abuse is under 5%. Yet our prime concern is neighboring pedophiles, but few stop to consider how they got that way! Ditto lots of dysfunctional behavior. So I repeat - children learn what they live- indeed, isn't that what we usually want & train them to do??
3) Brooklyn, NY- Chana Taub was denied the right to divorce by alleged unanimous jury vote. Presiding Judge Carolyn Demarest, closed the court for jury picking, refused to allow the jury to consider Taub’s husband had filed for divorce, but had withdrawn that motion. Judge Demarest also refused to allow renowned expert domestic violence witness, Dr. Evan Stark, to testify that he concluded from an intensive interview that Chana was a victim of domestic violence, even though NY requires grounds for divorce & Chana was filing on gounds of Cruel & Inhuman Treatment! Four of Taub’s children over the age of 18 gave sworn testimony regarding domestic violence by Mr. Taub. Earlier, Judge Sarah Krauss ordered that a wall be built dividing the Taubs' house, then ruled that Chana needed an order of protection. Isn't that a contradiction?? An appeals court upheld wall the decision. Judges have allowed the wealthy husband to impoverish his wife, starting foreclosure of their home, meanwhile allowing him to collect rent on 2 buildings in her name. Chana has had many orders of protection, usually given after a lengthy runaround process. She was harassed repeatedly when she attended court proceedings until I lodged a formal complaint, which has helped but not totally resolved the situation. Appeals to higher authority re several highly questionable court issues have yielded few results here (or in thousands of cases across the country).
Dr. Phil solicited Chana to appear on his television show. By all appearances, he understood and was very sympathetic to her plight. After flying Chana to film a segment & working with her to determine relevant questions, Dr. Phil spoke briefly to her husband by phone. He then did an about face, not checking documentation, & not asking any prepared questions, implying that Chana was lying when she said the problem is corrupt courts.
On May 14, 2007, Chana Taub filed for divorce under new grounds, this time in NY County. Judge Laura Drager disallowed the filing, saying she would not counter another judge’s decision. She told Taub to appeal again to same judge on certain issues (which were denied before) or to return to the appellate court (that already refused to change the order of Judge Sarah Krauss for “the wall” to be constructed through the center of Taub’s home). When told of the unfairness Taub and her children had experienced, Judge Drager stated that “…[it] could not be her concern.” When told that the financial maintenance Taub had been awarded from her millionaire husband was insufficient to pay even the most basic living expenses for Taub & her children, Judge Drager countered that Taub was “…now allowed to collect rent…”, ignoring the fact that the “rent” for the one building allowed Taub did not even cover its own expenses, as Taub’s husband has shown with supposed low rents. Drager also refused to hear of the numerous orders of protection. She ignored that Taub was filing under new grounds. She interrupted Taub’s attorney when he tried to tell her that Taub’s husband had simply taken custody of her youngest son, 16, almost two years ago, & that son has not visited since. She did not permit time to hear many unfair issues, one being that father had children publicly intimidated while they were testifying in court.
Judge Laura Drager also implied that Taub was “forum shopping”, despite the fact that her lawyer had made a formal request for such venue change long before the jury trial, citing numerous instances of bias by several judges in Brooklyn. (Should claims of bias surprise anyone familiar with Brooklyn courts? Judge Garson was convicted of accepting bribes to unfairly fix custody and finance in divorce. He was sentenced 6/05 to 3-10 years. The case took years to finally reach resolution, following years of many people complaining of his abuse, & most continuing to have to deal with the results). Chana's request for change of venue was denied, though Judge Laura Drager stated that, if Chana ever got all the issues resolved with Judge Demarest, she would be allowed to file for divorce in NY County. The jury verdict was March 27. The judge didn’t dismiss the case until May 1, AND by June 1 hadn’t signed orders re her rulings, such as Chana’s right to collect rent from & manage her own property (needs to be two of her properties in order to cover even modest living expenses) & have husband restrained from harassing her, etc. During the trial the judge accepted the husband’s 2005 tax return, long requested and still obviously false because it cannot have been filed because it is joint & Chana hadn’t signed it (he forged her signature on some prior returns). He bounced the last two maintenance checks (which didn’t even cover mortgage) before end of the trial & has paid nothing since. The Brooklyn & NY courts disregard is amazing! Husband's attorney repeatedly saying no more money was available for support went unremarked by judges. OR they countered that Chana didn't need more because she had gotten some money from family safe & refinancing home, while they ignored sworn affidavits for legal bills far greater. Hmmm... this is of course ALL free, not time consuming, not emotionally harmful to the kids or mother, right?
June3, Heraldo Rivera Show- fairly lengthy scheduled interview of Chana, her lawyer & sister was permitted a mere 2 min.. There was no time to mention case was part of a national problem. Heraldo did at least call decision "outrageous." Show was most interested in the bizarre wall. Also, ISN'T INSPIRING DIALOGUE ABOUT URGENT NEED FOR JUDICAL REFORM MORE IMPORTANT THAN RE-SENSATIONALIZING INTEREST IN PRINCESS DIANA'S DEATH, REVIEWED FAR LONGER FIRST? Media must increase focus on less sensational issues!
OTHER MEDIA have expressed interest & are being contacted. Another legal issue is- one is not supposed to contact media while case is ongoing. But what is one supposed to do when bias, etc. persists? Reversing decisions is harder.
June 11 Partial Update- June 4 Chana Taub's attorney received Order that Judge Demarest said she signed June 1 granting CT right to collect rent from 2 buildings. BUT, May 1 judge had said she could collect May rent, but that now was changed to June, but that,too, had already been collected by husband. Also, mortgage on one had recent bounced checks & other outstanding bills, some quite old, for which wife has just received request for payment. Last non-bounced maintenance check was from February. These are among several issues being ignored by judge.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO FACED WITH AN UNJUST COURT?
4) Queens, NY- A man on my advisory board had to pay so much for court-ordered forensics, custody evaluations and general divorce proceedings that his children’s college fund was totally depleted and his livelihood harmed. He was not able to regain custody after one of his children was sent to the hospital with a head wound inflicted by the stepfather.
5) Robin Abraham, Esq., (FL)- in a 17min. hearing, to which she was not invited, lost custody of her 4 year old daughter to her ex husband, a physician. She hasn't seen her since because she was accused of parental alienation. There was hospital evidence of sexual abuse. Robin is on my advisory board.
6)Another member of my advisory board was awarded only $550 per month plus modest social security to support 4 children. Her ex continues to live a much higher lifestyle in his home in the exclusive Long Island Hamptons. The marital home was in another name. There was ample court testimony that he was physically and emotionally abusive. Court records were sealed re the fact that he had alcoholic problems (many such records get sealed). The wife/mother fears to mention that his drinking frightens children when they are visiting him (or to legally review issues from past). She has no proof other than what the children tell her. Courts often don’t believe kids. Like many single mothers in custody disputes, she dares not complain for fear she will lose custody & doesn’t have hard proof re lots of issues. The law often has requirements that make obtaining justice impossible. Frequently, results defy common sense when multiple observers note glaring inequities &/or dangerous situations.
7) Lucy Broome, (MA) is in her sixties and eligible for food stamps even though she was married over 20 years to a pediatrician. She got the house in the divorce, but sold it to pay for her children's schooling. She appealed many times in family court to get some of her ex's pension, but to no avail. A Brandeis University study several years ago found that many divorced women over 63 are part of the poorest segment of our population. Lucy is on my advisory board.
8) I only will mention only a few aspects of my long-past case (I seek nothing in that regard any longer, & have no desire to embarrass my ex, etc.) to help further emphasize why we must have far greater court accountability. Many attorneys refused to take my case for fear of opposing his huge law firm. Years later when I sought legal help, one large firm agreed to help only because “we have never seen this level of manipulation.” (Indeed, I have since noticed that reasonably similar manipulation is quite common.) They helped some but basically backed down. My ex was being sued for fraud and said he couldn’t give much because of that, and if anyone sought more he said he’d simply “put it all offshore.” I felt helpless re visitation issues because legal proof is virtually impossible to obtain, no matter how upset kids get (Physical abuse wasn't part of my case; emotional issues were quite extreme). There have been numerous repercussions, which I won’t detail, but suffice it to say prolonged trauma interferes with kids’ self-esteem, ETC., which on varying levels affects far more than just them.
9) Mothers' Day May 11, 2007: a press release by StopFamilyViolence.org entitled- "Mothers File International Complaint Against THE U.S." recounts-"…ten mothers, one victimized child (now an adult), & leading national & state organizations filed a complaint against the United States with the Inter American Commission on Human Rights. The case claims that U.S. courts, by frequently awarding child custody to abusers and child molesters, have failed to protect the life, liberties, security, and other human rights of abused mothers and their children."
10) Legal bills for all of the above are well into the six figures, the Taub case nearing $1 million each (husband initiated many side harassing suits) placing wife way in debt. But whether it is a divorce case or ANY legal case, cases often drag on for years, frivolous motions abound. ACTIONS OF MANY OF US ARE OFTEN STYMIED BY FEAR OF SUIT. Defensive medicine costs tons of money!
So I repeat, PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN DEBATE is urgently needed as catalyst for ideas & to create demand for genuine court accountability before we do too little too late! How can we be respected leaders otherwise? This is NOT a male-female issue, it is a human issue. Our legal system is not often enough resulting in fair solutions. There often are two sides to many issues where a better compromise can be devised. Children learn what they live. Most/all types of abuse are known to cycle. In general suing is too easy re many issues in America. Honest accidents DO happen. The definition of compromise means neither party will get everything they want. Multimillion dollar awards should be extremely rare. Years ago it was reported that we litigated in the U.S. 10X more per person than in England. Individuals pay lawyers, but everyone pays to support our excessive court system!
NY Times front page 5/31/07- 'Wide Disparities Found in Judging of Asylum Cases' by Julius Preston"...."A new study by 3 law professors analyzes 140,000 decisions by immigration judges....finding vast differences in the handling of claims with generally comparable factual circumstances." STG-_doesn't this BEG the question that such behavior can't only be regarding judges handling immigration cases? Also 5/31- re "detente" between sexes- new research we're "becoming more alike in attitudes towards balancing life at home & work." STG- Hopeful, & we must promote that MUCH more in EVERY conceivable way!! 6/03- article re "percent of women having only one child doubled last generation... more working full time, delayed child-bearing & fertility, divorce...." Article did NOT assess WHOM- STG- "Hmm.. more educated/divorce fearing? #s will wreak havoc- power of compounding!" Also 6/03- Editorial noting new book about Supreme Court Judge Thomas says two Washington Post Journailists question, "why the justice who has faced the greatest hardships regularly rules for the powerful over the weak, & has a legal philosphy notable for its indifference to suffering." However, also stated is that "He had an absent father & an often-absent mother. Much of his chiLldhood was spent being angry and hurt." Hmmmm..... says STG!!!!! BUT SHOULDN'T WE STOP SUCH JUDGES FROM JUDGING & ESTABLISH SENSITIVITY CRITERIA TO BE GRANTED &/OR MAINTAIN BEING A JUDGE ANYWHERE IN THE U.S.????
”KIDS KANT WAIT”, SO NEITHER CAN WE!!
Helen Keller- "None are so blind as those who WILL NOT see.”
“The germ of destruction of our nation is in the power of the judiciary."
-Thomas Jefferson, 1821
The lack of checks and balances was Jefferson’s concern. By definition, the power of compounding, in terms of interrelated and expanding issues, is about to skyrocket. Let's find the cure first -now!
Kent Keith, JD, PhD (BA Harvard, Rhodes Scholar at Oxford), wrote, 2001- Anyway, The Paradoxical Commandments- Finding Personal Meaning in a Crazy World, which incorporated his paradoxical commandments which he first wrote in 1968. They were heralded worldwide and used by Mother Teresa. #2 stated- “If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.”
He summed up the theme of his project by saying- “Nothing is more important than what happens to the children. If there is hope for our children, there is every hope. If there is no hope for our children, there is no hope at all. The future of the world depends on the kinds of people today’s children will turn out to be.”
Those currently needing help with divorce issues can visit the National Coalition for Family Justice at http://www.ncfj.org.
Public Demand for Presidential Campaign Debates Regarding the Need for Judicial Accountability and Legal Ethics Enforcement
Public Demand for Presidential Campaign Debates Regarding the Need for Judicial Accountability and Legal Ethics Enforcement
NOTE- THIS WAS REQUEST ON WEB FOR ONE YEAR JUST PRIOR TO LAST
PRESIDENTAIL ELECTION. PEOPLE STARTED SIGNING AND
THEN ABRUPTLY THE SITE DIDN’T WORK- HMMMM……….
View Current Signatures - Sign the Petition
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Presidential Candidates Bush and Kerry
“The germ of the destruction of our nation is in the power of the judiciary.”
Thomas Jefferson, 1821
“I know no safe depository of the ultimate powers of society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion.”
Thomas Jefferson, 1820
The 11 million web sites and countless task forces (some federally funded) calling for judicial accountability and legal reform prove the need for immediate and sustained presidential review of our legal system. The law is a noble calling; many lawyers and judges practice with the highest level of ethics and competence. Unfortunately, the efforts of these professionals to maintain integrity in the legal system are increasingly undermined by the actions of unethical attorneys, judges, and others within the system.
Unfettered, rampant litigation, wildly excessive damage awards, inequitable divorces, and egregious custody decisions that ignore children’s safety are destroying our nation and negatively impact our economy. Preposterous outcomes where one spouse is impoverished relative to the other and/or where an impoverished non-custodial parent is first bankrupted by the system and then threatened with jail for non-payment of child support to a wealthy ex-spouse (sometimes a known abuser), must be investigated and remedied. Domestic and juvenile cases where children have been taken from loving, competent parents only to be placed in the custody of suspected abusers or in dangerous foster homes, demand immediate nationwide review. How can we “Leave No Child Behind” or promote democracy otherwise?
Do YOU realize that a vicious cycle exists on many fronts in our legal system? Fearful of lawsuits, the media are reluctant to air films such as “Bad Judgment” and “Small Justice” which document judicial abuses. In one Maryland case reported in “Bad Judgment”, a judge required 39 women to give him oral sex or else lose custody of their children. His penalty? A 25-year sentence reduced to 2 years. Other cases are worse- worse offenses, no sentences at all. Are you outraged yet? I am; we all should be. I am petrified for the future of my 3 sons and 2 stepsons and for your children, too. Are you now, also?
Why am I presenting this petition as my opinion (even though I recently initiated the new advisory board to the National Coalition for Family Justice* to create public outcry for national legal reform, have decades of personal experience, a master’s degree in advocacy, and tons of documentation)? Because, if it was written by an organization, most would be fearful of getting sued, just as doctors and others are. Guess who told me that to avoid getting sued when going public I needed to insert “my opinion” beside my name? A very sharp attorney, my ex! We, the public, must INSIST on becoming informed. Isn’t that our civil right, even our civil duty? Isn’t it necessary for our very survival?
YOUR signing this petition and sending it to everyone you know will document public demand for PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN DEBATES and PUBLIC HEARINGS regarding MANDATORY judicial accountability and legal ethics enforcement. However, only compassionate, constructive solutions must be created.
We all wonder, “Why are we here?” Could the lesson be that we must learn to cooperate? Our demand that the Federal government take immediate steps to enforce accountability and professional ethics for anyone in the legal field is an initial step.
* Founded in 1988, the National Coalition for Family Justice is a non-partisan, gender neutral 501(c)3 which helps families in distress (but is often thwarted by the system).
Sincerely,
The Undersigned
View Current Signatures
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Public Demand for Presidential Campaign Debates Regarding the Need for Judicial Accountability and Legal Ethics Enforcement Petition to Presidential Candidates Bush and Kerry was created by and written by Susan Titus Glascoff. This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.
Send this to a friend
Send Petition to a Friend - Petition FAQ - Start a Petition - Contributions - Privacy - Media Kit - Comments and Suggestions
PetitionOnline - DesignCommunity - 3D Designers - Gallery - Architecture Forum - 3D Developers - Games - Search
http://www.PetitionOnline.com/judac1/petition.html
© 1999-2004 Artifice, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
Presentation to the NY Matrimonial Commission
Core terms: interrelate, ipso facto loquitur (facts speak for themselves), legalese, fraud, cycles of abuse, comparable lifestyle,
safeguards, power of compounding(collateral damage), child input, abuse of statistics, K-12 ed, emergency review, national
Thank you for this commission and for permitting me to speak. Documentation for specifics I mention & more are in the folders I left at registration. I am here because I am scared for all our children. I do not come to point fingers. Urgency exists to devise constructive solutions for legal reform. 11 million web sites are calling for it. Any system is only as strong as its weakest link. Is our judiciary in danger of becoming that weak link? Could our collective problem be failure to interrelate each part of the process back to the gold standard- real justice? Our instinct for self-preservation dictates we ALL require checks and balances which must evolve with society. Too much immunity invites abuse of power. Fifty years ago class actions were not really needed and divorce was quite rare. Capitalism can be a double-edged sword for human services such as law. Legalese and nuance have become the rule. It extends cases, increases costs, & interferes with communication. How else could we have debated meaning of the word “is?”
A key question is, since law usually involves opposing sides, how can lawyers & others within the legal system, fairly represent/ rule re clients in either circumstance- 1) when one client must bear most or all the burden of fault or 2) when a reasonably equitable solution is warranted? Should hiding or twisting evidence to win for one’s client take precedence? These questions become critical for the welfare of families, & hence via inter-relationships for all society. For instance having ruled that a mother was perfectly fit & ordering the father to attend abuse counseling, the judge changed custody to the father. A mother who had been a homemaker for over 20 years was awarded so little from her doctor ex, that she was eligible for food stamps by the time the last child left home. Going to appeals court yet again has not gotten her any pension. How can $15,000 be paid to a lawyer to claim no money for child support? I was married for 23 years to a high-powered lawyer. I went yet again for enforcement to a top White Plains law firm 4 yrs ago. They said fraud could not be proved even though he had offered as final settlement equity in a bankrupt company over which he was being sued for fraud!
A crescendo of complaints has been building. Reams of increasing psychological studies prove abuse, emotional/ physical/financial. It is seldom fabricated ( a fact warranting FAR more careful scrutiny, esp. in contested custody). Here is a tiny sample of largely unheeded requests for change- 1) 1989-2000 compilation of cases and studies (including presidential task force)- Facts on Domestic Violence Perpetrators Gaining Custody of Children- handed out at the Albany 2004 National Crisis Conference on Battered (emotional/ physical /&,or financial) Mothers and Children, 2) 1996 book on financial devastation, etc. “Divorced From Justice,” by Karen Winner (since her 1992 report for the NYC Dept. of Consumer Affairs was largely ignored), , 3) 1997 report, “A Rebuke of Modern Judicial Practices,” by dean of MA Law School, Lawrence Velvel, 4) 2000, “Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, A 25 Year Landmark Study,” by Judith Wallerstein, et al where 131 grown children of divorce were interviewed (following 1, 3, 5, 10, 15 year interviews), a MUST READ, pg 208- People divorce for serious reasons to escape a delinquent or demeaning life only to find themselves in a system that reinstates and even strengthens values & lifestyle they fled from- dishonesty, violence, drinking, infidelity, etc…As we saw in Larry’s continued adoration of his violent father, it can & often does lock child into troubled & immoral relationships… This can be an enormous burden for life. Pg115, a serious unintended result of the ‘don’t criticize’ rule is it is very difficult for a parent with serious grievances to tell a child what really happened or defend interests in court… or teach morals.” Interrelate-all types of abuse cycle, compounding to hurt society. 5) 2/12/04 Business Week, Legal Affairs, “Close the Lawyer Loophole,” notes how some lawyers help business commit fraud ( same happens in divorce, sending bad message to children). Old saying-“We will conserve only what we love; love only what we understand; & understand only what we have been taught!
Books are published how to hide assets. If a marriage has lasted over 10 years and children are involved, shouldn’t both parents have a comparable lifestyle relative to each other after divorce? How can any parent who has chosen to spend time rearing children versus anything less than a full-blown career develop comparable earning capacity to someone who has continuously worked full time? As you surely know, children of divorce need even more parenting time, but get less which compounds their and society’s problems via poor school performance, substance abuse, promiscuity, displaced anger, etc. We know abuse cycles. The opening sentence of my youngest son’s college entrance essay was, “My life fell apart on my 8th birthday, the day my father left, saying he was going to a birthday party with his girlfriend.” He threw up every night he returned from visitation and missed the next day of school. At almost 28,
he just dropped out of college for the 5th time. Wallerstein noted boys whose father left when they were 6-8 have the most trouble even 20 years later, though she said some start to pull out by then. I’m hoping! She notes many kids expressed bitterness & feelings of a lost childhood. (My 3 sons did, too.) She says “loss of a father is profound, but loss of a mother forever changes the way a child experiences the world.” That loss refers not only to physical presence but parental distractedness, pg172, & feeling of worthlessness about forced visitation, pg182 (she says the legal system is at odds with intact families who often welcome child input), & loss re non-payment for college from a parent who could afford it, pg249. She discerned constant anger, pg 167. She heard about daughters internalizing father’s denigration of women, pg 142. She notes “one size can never fit all children or families,” Pg215, divorced women as group earn lots less than divorced fathers, pg 163. She astutely states you cannot legislate the heart. Other sources corroborate findings.
No one disputes that children fare best in good intact homes. But shouldn’t such findings as just stated at least make us reexamine rulings on custody, visitation, and finance? Such children are already traumatized, so isn’t it our collective adult responsibility to provide as good an environment going forward as possible? Wallerstein reports in her earlier book, “Second Chances,” that some elementary school kids like shared custody only IF the parents are capable of cooperating, but that little children need more time with the mother (but reasonable finance still must be provided to her) IF she is fairly nurturing. Teenagers, ( who even in intact families don’t spend much time with parents), tend to highly resent visitation interfering with their activities. Custody and visitation must be more about the kids than the parents! We must be careful not to manipulate statistics. Groups stating”kids drop out more, do more drugs, etc. when a father absent” must also include that is only in comparison to a non-abusive father. Ditto mothers. Abuse makes things worse. Statistics note more women file for divorce. True, but often only because they have no choice, such as myself vs ex’s alcoholism, continued affairs, etc. The biggest ABUSED statistic that actually scares people from marrying & promotes divorce is its widely published rate. The DIVORCE RATE IS NOT 50%! Official US 2002 statistics- % over age 25 who marry& divorce is 24%, but 40% if marry less than age 20. Those %s include 50% higher rate for adult kids of divorce! Comparing # of marriages/ divorces in any 1 year is incorrect math! Average standard of living of females drops 45% /divorce. (I am a former math teacher & find incorrect statistics constantly.)
Schools and colleges have reported increased need for counseling. Divorce is undoubtedly a factor. Pure mathematics says its affects will increasingly ripple throughout society. How about we all stop making excuses about what we cannot do and focus on what we can do? How about requiring K-12 programs that include more conflict resolution and challenges of good parenting and partnering, one being Lynn Gold-Bikin’s “Partners” program where one group acts out a relationship scene and the other group comments? How about incentives for more premarital classes? How about incentives for those with problems to attend intensive marriage encounter weekends? How about some ipso facto loquitur review on request say every 3 years after divorce to compare lifestyle & perhaps note hidden assets or temporary job loss? Safeguards will offset costs. How about enforceable safeguards for anyone from within or without the legal system who abuses it? How about lay review, guided by strict parameters, whenever someone deems a ruling violated common sense? Note that decreasing the divorce rate and lessening the impact when divorce must happen will save more than enough to offset these programs. How about preparation of a brief cost chart- comparison ideas-1) cost of ed k-12 in regular classes vs being in class for emotionally disturbed, needing tutoring, etc. 2) difference in earning capacity for high school dropout vs not or HS vs college 3)taxpayer vs recipient(prisoner/welfare/rehab),etc? How about those costs 2X or more when abuse cycles to the next generation?How do you measure cost of ruined lives?
How about sealed records & in-chambers discussions not being allowed without all primary participants, except for special circumstances, and never to conceal abuse (alcoholism, etc., etc.)? How about applying the same rules for family members as non-members- if it is illegal to do something to a neighbor, it is also truly illegal to do to your family? Such would lessen hosts of disorders! How about set fees for certain fairly routine required divorce filings, etc. (My recent lawyer in White Plains charged $5,000 for items some colleagues charged $15,000 for, and noted they got mad when she mentioned the topic.)? How about emergency review for custody cases where there is any reasonable suspicion of abuse? How about soliciting even more ideas from other states NOW and promoting congressional hearings to discuss some national guidelines for divorce (as much as feasible only win/win solutions)? We don’t need any more studies, etc. re effects of divorce or any type of abuse causing harm. The costs of programs for K-12 & incentives for more pre/post marriage counseling/ encounters would pale compared to their cost savings! Our children can’t wait which means our society cannot either, for indeed everything is interrelated and the power of compounding(collateral damage) is alive and well!! Thank you so much for listening/reading volumes of painful data
Dysfunctional families and dysfunctional family courts- We MUST interrelate issues.
Here are articles, books, commentary, some leading questions. 3/9/06 STG
1) “A Million Little Pieces,” by James Frey, ‘05- despite the controversy re some exaggerated scenes, at least 95% of the book is right on target. The theme that needs emphasizing is that the Hazelden center found that most patients became severely addicted to escape their anger, stemming from dysfunctional families. Addicts feel shame for having been abused, hence punish themselves.
2) “The Lost Children,” by Bob Herbert, NYT Op-Ed, 1/30/06- about how black and Latino students have high drop out rate, making them less likely to escape poverty, jail, etc., & will have hard time just surviving. He notes their higher birthrate means this will pose increasing problems for society. True, but don’t they need to include many kids of divorce in the same category?
3) “Empty Pockets, Angry Minds,” by Thomas Friedman, NYT Op-Ed 2/22/06- talks about how Muslim rage stems partly from being left behind- “even tiniest insult goes to very core of your being…. Too few young Muslims can aspire to success.” Hmm…sound similar for kids of divorce?
4) “No Justice, No Peace,” by Bob Herbert, NYT Op-Ed, 2/23/06- about a victim who wants US to admit torture was wrong. He feels his soul is trying to distract him from reality, reality that his life has been destroyed since he has become psychologically & emotionally distant from loved ones, depression interferes with them and finding/keeping a job. Hmm…. Kids of divorce, too?
5) “Inmate Convicted of Murdering Defrocked Priest,” by Katie Zezima, 1/26/06
Inmate had been unwanted from birth and had been physically and sexually abused since childhood. He felt he would be viewed as a savior of children by killing a priest who had been shuttled about to hide repeated sexual abuse.
6) “Beyond Rivalry, A Hidden World of Sibling Violence,” by Katie Butler, NYT
Science Times, 2/28/06,noted that growing evidence finds that repeated abuse
can be emotionally damaging for life, and occurs most frequently when parent is
emotionally absent as result of divorce. I fault this article some, though, because it
said that only 3% of parents attacked a child violently, ditto husbands attacking
wives, counter to other data which notes ¼-1/3 of families practice abuse.
7) “An American Obsession,” by Bob Herbert, NYT Op-Ed, 2/2/06- “There is
nothing more American than brutal violence. The country was built on it and
revels in it….Dr. King understood with unusual clarity the price to be paid for the
terrible belief that every problem could be solved by violence….We have honored
him but never listened to him. Our addiction to the joy of violence is far too
strong.” Dennis Kucinich and Walter Cronkite stated the same thing during
their 9/30/05 interview as did Michael Moore in his “Bowling for Columbine.”
Yet our media persist in sensationalizing violence. Will we do too little too late??
8) “City Was Told 6 Times of Trouble in Bronx Boy’s Home,” by Al Baker and Leslie Kaufman, NYT 2/1/06, noting “obvious evidence of chronic neglect.” Hmmm…. How about the tons of evidence media have received, but mostly ignored, for years about excessive family court costs, impoverishing one spouse relative to the other, and the most heinous ever-increasing removing custody from the primary caregiver, often even when other parent is abusive, emotionally or physically? Do we ever see those issues across the spectrum of media and debated repeatedly like the Abu Ghraib scandal? Isn’t it even highly likely that at least some of the perpetrators of that abuse were acting out their own cycling of abuse?
9) “Who’s at Risk,” by Stephan Golux, NYT letter-to-the-editor 11/1/05 referencing the 10/25 “Scare Yourself Silly, but the Real Terrors Are at Your Feet.” Stephan asks- “How many people have died of terrorism in the past 5 years compared to smoking?” STG- what could provoke more terror for child or protective parent than to have that child placed in unsupervised visitation or custody of abuser? PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) developed by Dr. Gardner has frequently been used to wrest kids from a here-to-fore perfectly good parent., even when credible evidence of abuse is present and the Amer. Psych. Assn. disavowed it. It is STILL used, though less and more subtly. BUT Gardner committed suicide by repeatedly stabbing himself in the heart! Doesn’t that bespeak a pathological mind & wanting to punish himself for causing unspeakable harm? He is widely quoted saying such things as, “every male parent has a bit of pedophilia in him.”
10) “Healing: Wounds Linger (literally) After marital Strife,” by Nichlas Bakalar, NYT 121/13/05- “Hostile interactions may slow healing of wounds, a new report says.” It is well documented all family members in divorce get sick more & longer.
11) “Why Love Heals,” by Chris Crowley & Henry Lodge, M.D., March, “Ladies Home Journal”- “Making deep emotional connections with friends and family reduces stress, creates more happiness and actually keeps you healthier.” Isn’t it obvious we need to do everything in our power to provide conflict management and challenges of good partnering and parenting to All our children as much as possible? Shouldn’t that be a required integral part of k-12 curriculums everywhere? Shouldn’t a few counseling sessions be required to get a marriage license? Shouldn’t there be all sorts of support to help keep marriages together?
Wouldn’t costs for these be offset by lesser medical expenses, less missed time from
work and school, enhanced creativity and productivity, etc.,etc.?
12) “The Happiest Wives,” by John Tierney, NYT Op-Ed 2/28/06 – study of over
5,000 couples- “Having an affectionate and understanding husband was by far
most important predictor of woman’s satisfaction with her marriage….. Happiest
wives were ones whose husbands brought in at least 2/3 of the money…. Men more
willing to take jobs paying premium in exchange for long hours away from home….
Women want equity but not necessarily equality.” All above works fine unless
marriage fails. Everyone knows women rarely have same earning capacity as men
for hosts of reasons, one being she carries babies 9 months & typically is more
nurturing. Custody must not be wrenched away & financial equity must be found.